Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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