goodnight i made you a song goodbye
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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