5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
