I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
