420 ftw
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize