do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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