in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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