you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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