I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
