Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
