i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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