i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
