I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
