Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
