he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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