My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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