Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
