no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
