Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
