On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
