he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
