i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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