That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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