remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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