you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
