dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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