Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
