you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
