i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
