I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
