Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
