Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
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You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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