No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
