I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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