He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
