I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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