I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
