I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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