What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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