whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
