Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize