I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
