somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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