yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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