Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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