My sheets look like a crime scene.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
