I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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