He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
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He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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