I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
