just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
