Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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