Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
