She's JV to your varsity
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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