Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
