I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize